


Email Chaos

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Banter, E-mail, Gen, Humor, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9000094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: Kevin decides to help Abby with her emails. It doesn't go quite the way Abby would like.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thinlizzy2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/gifts).



"Kevin, what is this stack of papers on my desk?" Abby called out, eyeing the tottering stacks as she hung up her purse and coat.

Kevin looked up from his perusal of several photos of himself. "Oh, uh, you said you wanted to go through your emails today."

"I did. I did say that. I did. But that doesn't explain the sudden explosion of a recycling bin on my desk."

"Well, I printed out all your emails for you, so you could go through them!" Kevin replied proudly.

Abby would almost believe that she was still asleep, if this didn't sound like just the sort of thing Kevin would actually do. "You- you printed out a-all of our emails?"

"Yep! You're welcome!"

Abby sank down into Erin's chair, unwilling to disturb the mess that was her desk. "Well, Kevin, that is just... all kinds of thoughtful of you. Really. But, uh, I'm not so good with paper, so I think I'm gonna just go ahead and look at them on the computer this time, okay?"

"Okay." Kevin smiled beatifically and went back to his photos.

Since her own laptop was probably buried beneath all those email printouts, Abby just used Erin's. A few minutes later, she found herself staring at a completely empty inbox. "Hey, Kevin? Quick question."

"Yes, Abby?" Kevin had moved over to the fish tank and was... doing something... with the glass. Now he came back over to her and perched on the edge of Erin's desk.

"When you- when you printed out all our emails..."

"Yes?"

"Now this is going to sound silly, but did you happen to permanently delete all of those emails from our online inbox?" Abby asked, hands clasped desperately before her.

Kevin shrugged, "Well yeah."

"Ah! Ya did- ya did do that. Okay, we've figured that out. Now can ya tell me _why_ you did that?"

"Holtzmann showed me how!" he said proudly.

"I'm sure she did," Abby replied. "That is exactly the kind of thing she would do. But why- okay, _whyyy_ did you do it? Why did you delete them all?"

Kevin rubbed his eye through his glasses. "Well, I'd already printed them."

"Ah! Of course! Of course; you'd already printed them. Why wouldn't you delete them if you'd already printed them. After all, you'd printed them, why would you possibly think you might need them again?" She muttered.

"Exactly!" Kevin replied cheerfully.

With a sign of defeat, Abby closed Erin's laptop and began to slowly bang her head against it.

"Sooooo, is that everything?" Kevin asked. "Because I have a call holding with Taiwan right now."

"Of course you do," Abby said, so thankful - not for the first time - that they had disconnected his phone. "Thank you, Kevin. Please go back to your call." Abby patted his leg reassuringly, then trudged over to her own desk. "I have no idea how I'm going to reply to any of these now," she mumbled to herself, "but I'm sure between four geniuses at least one of us will figure something out."

"Not Taiwan, Thai restaurant!" Kevin suddenly burst out.

\---

Some time later - Abby had quite honestly lost track - Holtzmann came bouncing into the Station. "Boom!" She yelled.

"Hey, your girl be crazy!" Patty declared, following behind her.

"Those new graphene lined suits I designed worked perfectly!" Holtzmann declared, throwing her arms up in the air victoriously. "No char, no impact, no demineralization and death!"

"She shot me point blank with those proton pistols of hers!" Patty screeched.

"But they worked?" Abby asked from beneath her pile of email forwards.

"She shot me!" Patty yelled. "Point blank! With a _proton laser_!" She turned to Holtzmann, who was calmly hanging up her pack. "How would you like it if I did that to you?"

Holtzmann grinned. "You totally can! Do you want to right now?"

"I little bit, yeah!" Patty reached for her proton wand.

"Hey! No weapons testing inside the office!" Abby yelled.

"Sorry," Holtzmann said, sounding in no way sorry.

"So what're you doing up here?" Patty asked. "Have you been visited by the ghost of paperworks past?"

"No, no, actually," Abby turned to Holtzman, "and you, what's with teaching Kevin how to delete emails?!"

"Well you took away his phone," she said, "so I figured he could empty the email trash."

"Next time, run that kind of thing by me first!" Abby declared. "Now, everyone take a stack of emails and sort through them. And be careful, because thanks to Kevin's newest skill, these are the only copies!"

"I do not understand how that boy has lived this long," Patty said, collecting a pile of emails while eyeing Kevin just as he spit out a mouthful of coffee.

"He's very very pretty," Holtzmann explained. "You'd be surprised how far that gets you in life."

"Yep," Abby started to hand her a pile of emails, then paused. "Before you start on these, you should check the printer. Because this is a lot of ink and paper, and I didn't even actually know that we _had_ a printer?"

"Oh, we don't," Holtzmann replied cheerfully. The other two stared at her until the other shoe dropped. "Yeah, I'll talk to him about that."

Abby went back to sorting her pile. "Oh, and while you're looking through the emails, I have a system. Ghost sightings go on Erin's desk. Kudos for us go in booth one. Orders for our book go in booth two. Bills go behind my chair for me to pay right away. Insults can go strait into the trash can. Everything else goes on Patty's desk. And if anyone sees an email from the Ramis Foundation in Chicago let me know _immediately_."

"You got like a list with all that written down?" Patty asked, eyeing the various stacks.

"Actually, yes," Abby quickly shuffled around and found her original cheat sheet. "Just remember, Ramis Foundation in Chicago - let me know immediately. Everything else, find a pile."

"Okay, I can do this. New York City post office processes over five hundred thousand pieces of mail an hour; we can take care of one weekend's worth of emails."

"We totally can," Abby agreed. "Just as long as nothing else goes-"

"Don't you say it!" Patty yelled. "Don't you tempt fate like that Abby!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking! I just feel like I've been drowning in emails all morning doing a job that would normally take me half an hour and I don't even know how we're going to reply to these without the originals, and some of these people sent pictures and videos and we have no way to look at and-"

"Pull it together, girl!" Patty said, shaking Abby by the shoulders.

"Holtzy has saved the day!" Holtzmann crowed, bursting back into the room. The breeze that came with her, unfortunately, played havoc with Abby's neat piles.

"Noooo!" Abby dove for the nearest pile. "Holtzmann, what is wrong with you?"

"The better question is what is right!" Holtzmann replied. "Check your laptop!"

"I still haven't found mine," Abby grumbled, returning to Erin's desk and opening her laptop. "What am I looking for?"

"Check your email."

Abby did as instructed and then gasped. "It's back! It's all back! How did you do this?"

Holtzman jerked a thumb over her shoulder at the stairs. "Backup email server in the basement."

"You are a miracle worker!" Abby replied.

"Now what are we going to do with all of these printouts?" Patty asked.

Holtzman's grin widened. "Well, we could always test some new plasma lasers I've been working on."

"Oh I am in!" Patty cheered.

"No weapons in the office!" Abby reminded them, busily sorting the now electronic email.

"Yes mom!" Holtzman replied, hoisting a crate from behind her desk. "Patty, grab that paper!"

"Be safe!" was Abby's only reply.

"Psh!" Holtzmann shot a cheeky grin back over her shoulder at Abby. "When are we not?"

"Do you need me to list the times?" Patty replied, following her down the stairs. "How about the..." The closing door cut her off, leaving Abby alone with her task.


End file.
